Mommy's Here - Or is it the Mafia?

There are days (and I mean every single day) when Mommy-ing is dirty business. Mafia has nothing on the clean-up a Mom has to do constantly. Just consider :

A pesky stain?
"Fuh-get about it." (thanks to that nifty Tide pen)

A stinky diaper?
Sent to bottom of the seventh circle of hell (aka the Diaper pail) never to return again. (I bet the Mafia would relocate if asked to change a stinkier-than-a-rotten-fish diaper roughly eleven times a day)

Messy Joint (aka house)?
Whacked into shape.

James Bond has nothing on a Mom evading a flying missile (aka toy), who can outleap Superman in a quest to stop her toddler from racing out on to the street while normally unable to leap 6 inches in the air and is capable of spinning a web of fabrication faster than Spidey when having opened the door to a very nicely dressed neighbor with more pasta than hair on her head.

But give me a toddler who doesn't eat the food placed in front of him, and I'm utterly defeated. I've tried cajoling, I've tried begging, I've even tried (fake) crying. I've tried pasta, I've tried veggie, I've tried cheese, I've tried desserts, I've tried "enter food name here". I've even tried changing food venues. We've tired to eat in front of the TV (a wasted exercise. Kiddo was more interested in learning about gravity. Food that's thrown in the air or food thrown down will ultimately end up .... on the carpet .... Mommy just had professionally cleaned), sometimes in our backyard, sometimes in the bedroom. End result is same. There's more food on the ground, on the carpet, on the pots and on me than in my son's stomach. I've had to buy more cleaning materials than cooking. To clean the kitchen floor (read, rest of the house), to clean us and to clean all our clothes.

Like I said, Mommy does more clean-up than Mafia - every(stinky)day!

pssst - surprises hidden in the links ;)
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